


pinky promise

by amazingraceful



Category: Actor RPF, The Hunger Games (Movies), The Hunger Games (Movies) RPF
Genre: Alexbelle - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Multi, Recreational Drug Use, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, This is trash, Underage Drinking, goes by years not chapters, i don't apologize but i also do because this is an absolute mess, sorry if i break your heart, this is self-indgulent, this will have mature moments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2019-08-25 22:48:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16669846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amazingraceful/pseuds/amazingraceful
Summary: Growing up can be one of the hardest things to do.Especially when it comes to dealing with the infamous, Alexander Ludwig. And for Isabelle, that's exactly what she has to do.





	1. 1994-1999

**Author's Note:**

> There is a age difference, however I have changed it for the sake of this story. The only two birthdays that will remain their real birthdays is Isabelle and Sophia.
> 
> Alex: May 7th, 1994. Age, 24 (present day).
> 
> Madeline: August 21st, 1995. Age, 23 (present day).
> 
> Natalie and Nicholas: June 10th, 1996. Ages, 22 (present day).
> 
> Isabelle: February 25th, 1997. Age, 21 (present day).
> 
> Sophia: September 13th, 1999. Age, 18 (present day).

**May 7th, 1994.**

Elina smiled down at the bald baby. His blue eyes staring back at her, little fingers wrapped around her pointer. She could feel the tears start to form at the brim of her eyes. He was beautiful. His name was Alexander.

Sharlene, the mother of the babe, gently rubbed her best-friend since college back. The two women adored the baby until their wine glasses could no longer be filled.

**June 4th, 1994.**

Elina and Nick Fuhrman bought a cabin in Tomahawk, Wisconsin on Bear Lake. Sharlene and Nick Ludwig followed soon after, purchasing the cabin next door. They celebrated by dipping baby Xanders toes in the water and applying sunscreen to his button nose.

 

*******

 

**August 21st, 1995.**

Elina's water had broken while she was seated on the beach with Sharlene

Madeline was born with dark brown hair already crafted on her head. Her green eyes staring back at her father as he smiled down at her.

The nurses said she was beautiful.

Everyone could agree.

 

***

 

**June 10th, 1996.**

This year, the cabins were dormant.

Sharlene had two twins, Nicholas and Natalie. Similar blue eyes to Alex gifted to them.

Alex was two, only strong enough to hold his siblings if he was seated in his dads lap.

In July, Elina found out she was pregnant again. They discovered it was a girl.

They decided to name her Isabelle.

 

*******

 

**February 25, 1997.**

She was born at the UW Hospital at 3:45pm.

Isabelle was a bald baby. With matching green eyes to her sister, Madeline.

Sharlene had driven herself to visit with her eldest son, Alex.

Alex, still only three at the time, poked the small girls nose once, "Belle."

Madeline giggled. A high pitch ring dancing through the hospital room.

 

*******

 

**September 3rd, 1999.**

The last of the Ludwig siblings, Harold had told Nick.

Sophia.

The blue-eyed, blonde-haired baby was born the first day Alex started Kindergarten.

Sharlene had taken so many photos, then the second the boy walked onto the bus, her water broke.  
  


**July 4th, 1999.**

Both families visit their cabins.

Nick grills chicken with Harold.

Sharlene and Elina share a bottle of wine.

Only Alex is allowed to jump off the dock-- if he's wearing a life vest.

Madeline protests, Isabelle throws sand at Natalie, Nicholas pees his swimsuit, and Sophia is almost one.

The fireworks reflect in the water at night. The kids eyes are wide, full of life.

And everything is perfect.

 


	2. 2003

Isabelle's reflection taunts her in the water below. From eye level the jump off the dock looks like she might be falling to her death. She glances over at Madeline and Alex, who splash around mindlessly.

"It's too high," Isabelle frowns. Her adolescent cheeks are bunching up like a squirrel from the life vest around her neck, "I can't do it."

Alex kicks himself closer to the dock, grabbing ahold of the ladder, "It's not that high you big baby."

Isabelle sticks her tongue out in his direction before sending a pleading look over at her sister. The dock wobbles as Alex resurfaces, standing next to the small girl. He shakes his moppy blonde hair like a dog, covering Isabelle in droplets of lake water.

She shrieks, "Alex! It's cold!"

"Are you going to jump or what?" Alex crosses his arms and glances at Madeline when she comes back up for air.

"I already told you," Isabelle turns to face him, eyebrows furrowed, "it's too high."

"Let me help."

Before Isabelle can protest the ground below her gives out and she's free-falling off the dock into the cold water below. The scream rattles throughout the forest before being submerged underwater. As fast as she went under, she comes back up, coughing and blowing water from her nose.

Her eyes flick up at Alex, who's bent over laughing. "I hate you!"

"You do not," Madeline teases, swimming closer to her. "He just did you a favor."

"He shoved me," Isabelle pouts, kicking as fast as she can underwater. She's afraid of fish nibbling her feet.

Alex backs up on the dock above them. Running at full speed, he leaps off the edge and cannonballs next to the two girls. Sharlene peels her eyes away from Sophia in the sand, to watch the scene unfold. Isabelle gulps lake water as the splash covers her face.

Madeline laughs, watching the boy bob back up and swat water at the two of them, "That was easily a 10 out of 10."

Alex smiles proudly, "I thought so too."

It was the Fourth of July and extremely hot outside. Elina had proposed they go on a boat ride, but the sun beat down so hard they were afraid the kids would get sunburn. Instead, Sharlene agreed to watch the kids as they swam, occasionally calling them to shore to re-apply their sunscreen.

There's loud music playing from the Ludwig's cabin as Nicholas helps his father cook corn on the cob. Natalie had found a spot on the sand to lay out and read, sometimes glancing at Alex when he does a hand-stand underwater.

Isabelle is about to ask her sister for help climbing back onto the dock when her father leans over the edge and smiles down at them, "Alex and Madeline. I convinced your mothers to allow me to take you out on the speed boat to go tubing."

Madeline yells in excitement and Alex yanks Isabelle off the ladder in a hurry, scurrying up to grab a life vest. Isabelle's face falls in disappointment; she's still too young to tube.

"Can I come?" Isabelle asks, "Just to sit on the boat."

Nick Fuhrman looks at his daughter, helping Madeline out of the water, "Sorry kiddo. You're still too young."

"But I'm six." Isabelle scowls, "I can swim and sit on a boat just fine."

Nick chuckles, "Next year, kid."

Alex smirks down at her, taunting the life vest in the air, "Ha. Ha."

The brim of her eyes are about to spill over in tears, but she splashes them away. Kicking towards shore as fast as she can. Sharlene meets her in the sand and helps her take off the life vest. Isabelle's cute yellow and white polka dot one piece finally able to be flaunted. She had begged her mom to buy it when she saw it in Old Navy. And she looked cuter than the mannequin did, thank you very much.

When Isabelle hears the boat start-up, she's reminded of not being able to tag along and feels the sadness creep back over her. Sharlene puts a light hand on her shoulder, but Isabelle pays no mind to it as she watches Alex and Madeline share a diet coke as the boat drives off.

Sophia taps her leg, "Isabelle. Wanna play?"

But Isabelle doesn't want to play with babies. She wants to tube. She wants to feel the wind in her hair as the boat reaches speeds she longs to reach. Sharlene sighs, "Belle, sweetie. How about you go help your mom with dinner?"

She obliges, but not before she looks one more time at the boat, now in the middle of the lake. Alex and Madeline pull themselves up onto the tube and Nick takes off. You can hear their squeals from here.

When Isabelle finds her mom, she cries.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" Elina coo's, combing her hands through the girls damp hair.

Isabelle's incoherent words pool out of her mouth and she sobs into her mothers chest.

"Did you get hurt?"

"I wanna tube," Isabelle sniffles, rubbing her eyes.

Elina sighs, "Next year.. Next year you will be able to tube as much as you want. Alright? You're just too light this year, yet."

Isabelle sucks air in, lips trembling. "Okay."

Later that night at dinner, Isabelle eats two corn on the cobs and two servings of pasta salad. When her plate is clear, she demands her dad weighs her.

She's still too light.

Alex shares his ice cream with her to make her feel better.

***

When the sky is almost black, Nick and Harold set up the beach for a firework show.

Sharlene and Elina watch the kids as they roast marshmallows over the fire. Alex has already had six, Isabelle is on her fourth, and Madeline gave up after two because they kept starting on fire. Despite the countless of times Elina told her to take the stick away from the flames.

Natalie and Nicholas have made it their duties to make the best possible s'mores. Sophia is their first taste tester, the gooey marshmallow sticking to her hands and cheeks. When she smiles, chocolate residue sticks on her two front teeth. The group shares a collected chuckle before Nick and Harold announce the fireworks are about to begin.

Isabelle's short legs race down the path to the shore where she sits in the same spot she's sat in for a few years now. Alex on her right, Madeline on her left. The two twins sit closer to the water with Sophia so she can splash her feet in.

Harold beings the countdown, flicking the flame from the lighter twice before lighting the string.

The first boom makes Isabelle jump. Both Alex and Madeline tease her, until another roar echoes across the lake and the two of them jump too. Her freckled nose scrunches up as she watches the fireworks dance across the sky.

Alex turns towards the young girl and taps her shoulder. When the green eyes meet his blue ones, he reaches out a hand and she outstretches hers. The smirk growing slowly as he drops a baby toad in her hand.

Isabelle screams, standing up quickly and tossing the toad back into his lap. Her legs take off down the shore, Alex jolting in a hot pursuit. But his legs are longer and he's much faster, unable to slow down before he collides into the girl and they both topple over into the damp sand. Fireworks blasting from above as they both lay there, laughing, holding their stomachs. From afar, you would see two young kids enjoying their youth. But if you got up close, listened to the way they laughed and the way they teased, you'd see two best friends.

Alex props himself up on his elbows and looks at Isabelle as she tries to collect herself. He smiles at her when she sits criss-cross-applesauce in front of him, staring up at the fireworks.

"Hey, Is."

"Yeah?" Isabelle responds, looking at him.

The nine-year old boy sticks his tongue out at her. The six-year-old throws sand at him.

Twenty minutes later the fireworks end and the two separate for the night, cheeks sore from smiling.

In the room Isabelle and Madeline share, they gossip about the boy with blue eyes till their matching green ones drift to sleep. 

 


	3. 2004

It's in her face. The claws, the slime.. everything. In _her_ face.

Isabelle runs fast, zooming by Natalie bathing in the sun on the sand. Alex hot on her heels as he holds a crawfish. She instantly regrets glancing over her shoulder when she see's how close he's gotten. The gap between them closing quickly as she turns towards the dock, her throat threatening to bubble up a scream.

"You can't run from me, Fuhrman!" Alex cries out, stepping onto the dock.

Isabelle leaps off the dock. Alex halts and looks down at the girl as she bobs up for air. He's holding the crawfish by the tail, hanging it over the edge.

"Let it go, Alex."

"But it's my friend."

Isabelle's eyebrows narrow, "You're gonna hurt him."

"Get out of the water and hold it. Then I'll let it go."

"No."

"Then I'm keeping him." Alex lightly swings the crawfish back and forth over the water, which makes Isabelle wince.

Her heart-strings pull as she watches the poor thing dangle in the air, "Alright.. fine."

Using the ladder, she climbs back onto the dock and reaches her hand out towards him. Alex smirks, looking at the girl before gently setting the crawfish into her palm.

She watches it crawl around her hand before lightly lowering it into the water. Turning back to Alex, she crosses her arms, "You can't do that."

"I didn't hurt em'."

Isabelle flicks his nose before walking off the dock. Alex chuckles, watching the girl grab her towel. Isabelle was always the first one in the water and the first one out of the water these days. Her lips would turn blue first, then her finger tips, then she'd get out knowing if she swam any longer she'd probably develop hypothermia.

And since it's still late June, the water is still a little more chilly than usual.

Madeline walks down to the beach, holding onto her life vest, "You guys ready to go tubing?"

Isabelle's eyes flick towards her sister, instantly brighting her mood. It was finally the year she could tube. After two years of watching Madeline and Alex go together, it was finally her time to shine.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Isabelle practically screeches, racing up towards the boat.

Nick walks up behind Madeline with two more life vests and eventually the group gathers on the speed boat. Natalie and Nicholas watching Sophia on the shore yet, only glancing towards them when Isabelle yells at Alex for almost pushing her out of the boat.

The boat speeds off towards the middle of the lake. Nick carefully maneuvering around so the kids don't get whiplash.  Isabelle is sitting at the very front of the boat, arms stretched on either side of her.  She laughs every time water sprays up at her face and ignores her father yelling for her to sit tight. When they reach the spot to start tubing Isabelle begs to go first and since it's her first year, she gets dibs.

Isabelle jumps off the boat quickly and doggy paddles up to the inter-tube. Climbing up the side and gripping ahold of the rope, she flashes her dad a thumbs up. Alex sits next to Madeline, both of them watching her with amusement.

Nick accelerates and Isabelle starts bursting in laughter.

The boat speeds by pontoons and fisherman. Isabelle's screams of laughter able to be heard from any part of the lake. Every wave she flies over only heightens her adrenaline. The wind sprays water in her face and sometimes she coughs and spits out sand, or maybe its bugs. Either way, she's in heaven.

As the boat slows down to a stop she watches as Alex jumps into the water and swim over to her, climbing up on the tube. His wet hair sticks to his forehead as he looks at her, smirking.

"What are you doing?" Isabelle asks, glancing at her dad.

"I wanted to join you."

Isabelle scrunches up her nose at him, scooting over a tad so they aren't so close on the inner-tube. Alex looks towards her dad and does a thumbs up. Once again, Isabelle screams. Her stomach starting to hurt from laughing so hard and Alex's ears starting to go deaf.

When Nick rounds a sharp turn, Alex pushes himself into Isabelle quickly. It happens so fast that Madeline can hardly blink an eye. Isabelle's hands can't grip hard enough to keep her on the tube, so she flies off and skids across the water before going under for only a second. Now Alex is the one laughing too hard, watching as the girl coughs up water and blows snot out of her nose.

Nick drives by slowly, looking at his daughter, "You alright, kiddo?"

Isabelle's life vest is pushing up on her cheeks, making it nearly impossible for her words to sound coherent, "Yeah. Alex pushed me off though."

"What?" Nick chuckles, glancing over at Alex.

"Nothing," Isabelle sighs, kicking her feet to face the tube that was slowly wading over to her. A more than pleased Alex sprawled out across both their spots, "You're a bully."

Alex fake frowns, "I was just having fun."

"Well you ruined mine."

"I'm sorry, Fuhrman."

Isabelle pulls herself onto the tube carefully, "You don't mean that."

"Yes, I do." Alex, no longer fake frowning, did feel bad. It was Isabelle's first time on a tube and he had pushed her off. "But I still think it was funny."

"You butthead!" Isabelle shoves her shoulder into him, "Don't do it again."

"I wont."

Nick calls out asking if the two were ready to go again.

Isabelle narrows her eyes at Alex, "Pinky promise?"

Her tiny pinky stuck out in his face and he scrunched up his nose, "Fine. I pinky promise."

His pinky wrapped around hers before he showed Nick another thumbs up.

Isabelle ended up shoving him off.

* * *

In May, Alex turned 10. For his birthday his parents got him a brand new guitar. A really nice one from some fancy guitar shop in Madison. At least that's what Isabelle assumed when she saw the logo on the case it was in when Alex brought it out to the fire that night.

Madeline was sitting next to him on a rocking chair, smiling as he practiced a few strums. The parents talked amongst themselves, Sophia sitting on Natalies lap as they shared a s'more. Nicholas and Isabelle were tossing leaves into the fire when Alex began to sing loudly, a goofy voice to his tone.

Even though his strumming never matched the song and his voice was squeaky and pubescent, the crowd loved it. The crowd being his parents, sisters, brother, and the Fuhrman family. At one point he let Madeline try out the guitar. She was giddy when she started to strum, humming along to the chords.

It was the night she realized she wanted to be a musician. It was the night Alex developed a crush. It was the night Isabelle begged to stay out later so she could play with Nicholas just a _little_ bit longer. The night Natalie accidentally said shit, Sophia got melted marshmallow in her hair, and the night Elina announced her business idea.

Only one girl dreamed of the boy with blue eyes that night. The other one dreamt of going a little faster on the speed boat.

 


	4. 2006

The snow sticks to the ground like glue outside of Isabelle's window. _Jingle Bells_ hums behind her closed door as it plays out in the living-room. It brings a sense of comfort to Isabelle as she rests in her and Madelines room.

Madeline, Nick, and Alex had gone out with their fathers for a good old-fashioned ice fishing session. Natalie is stuck babysitting Sophia; occupying her time with gingerbread house making. Sharlene and Elina, who are gossiping in the kitchen, have made it their duty to make the best Christmas feast anyone has ever tried.

Last year, everyone had gathered at the Ludwig's cabin for Christmas vacation. But this year, it's the Fuhrmans' turn to shove the two families together in their moderately sized cabin. Although the Ludwig cabin is much larger in size, (granted they have a few more coins in the bank) the two families made it work. It was a tradition.

Isabelle stretches out her legs, curling her toes a bit so they don't peak out from under the blanket. The room is cold, making her less than pleased to get out of bed. When she does, the wooden floor is cool below her, sending shivers up her spine. She pulls a thick sweater over her head then sluggishly carries herself out into the hallway. A thick aroma of cinnamon and apples smacking her in the face as soon as she opens the door. The music much louder now than it was before.

Her finger tips trail over the pictures frames hung on the wall as she carries herself to the dining room, where Natalie looks up from her creation. Isabelle sends a smile to the blonde, running up next to the two girls.

"How was your nap?" Natalie asks, adjusting herself in her chair.

"I didn't fall asleep, but it was warm." Isabelle smiles, stealing a gumdrop off the girls gingerbread roof.

Natalie scrunches her nose up at her before turning to Sophia who giggles, "Why don't you go get cleaned up for dinner."

Sophia frowns, but obliges. Jumping off her chair and scrambling off towards the bathroom.

Natalie turns back to Isabelle and rubs her temple, "Are Xander, Maddie, and Nick back yet?"

Isabelle shrugs and makes a face at Madelines nick-name. She hates being called Maddie, but Natalie does it anyways.

"I'm so hungry I could eat a cow." Natalie slumps herself in her chair. "This candy is stale."

"Yeah, the gumdrop wasn't very good." Isabelle chuckles, pushing her bangs out her face.

Natalie smiles a little, "You ruined my house!"

"It's one gumdrop."

"One gumdrop that puts the roof together."

Isabelle fakes a British accent, "Oh, pish-posh!"

"I'm going to get you back, my lady!" Natalie mocks the accent and giggles. "Just you wait!"

Both of them break out into a fit of laugher; slapping the table as they try to calm down. Isabelle would most definitely consider Natalie to be one of her best friends. The two girls have nick names, a secret hand shake, sleepover at each others houses often, and refuse to tube with anyone else but each other. Growing up only a year apart, like Madeline and Alex, has its many benefits. Including a moment like this.

"Girls, girls, girls," Sharlene smiles, walking into the dining room holding a glass dish filled with mashed potatoes. "What has gotten you guys laughing so hard?"

Natalie snickers, "Nothing, mom."

"So be it." Sharlene ruffles the blonde's hair after setting down the mashed potatoes and heads back into the kitchen, "Dinner will be ready soon. Your fathers returning shortly."

Isabelle straightens up in her seat at the news. Her tummy twisting in excitement. She knew that after dinner was present time and she had gotten Madeline the coolest gift, or at least made the coolest gift. It was a fake microphone made with an old toilet paper roll and a styrofoam ball at the top she painted black. The bottom of the roll was tapped closed and attached to it was a tiny string so she could pretend to hook it up to an amp.

After Alex got his guitar for his 10th birthday, Madeline has been obsessed with singing along to his jams. The two of them calling themselves the Ludmans. Ludwig and Fuhrman combined. Natalie had teased them for weeks after they thought of the name. Saying it sounded like Sophia when ever she pooped her diaper. Harald shut down the teasing after Madeline had started to cry one day. Isabelle picked up where Natalie left off after that, but teased Alex instead of Madeline. But since Alex didn't mind the teasing, he decided to write a song about it instead. He called it "the sassy girl". He preformed it once at the fire and Isabelle laughed so hard she pee'd herself.

He wrote a song about that too.

Elina and Sharlene continued to stock the dining room table as the girls cleaned up the ginger bread mess. Sophia was in charge of setting up the plates and utensils. She made sure Natalie and Isabelle were sitting next to each other; placing their assigned colored cups in their spots. Madeline, Nick, and Alex returned home with pink noses and sadly, no fish.

After the families wash up, they find themselves gathered at the dining room table. Dishing up Elina's delicate, very special, China plates. Natalie and Isabelle have a mashed potato eating contest. Scarfing down the fluffy creation quickly, until Alex takes it upon himself to force the pudding like consistency out of his mouth in a puking motion. Sharlene shuts that down pretty fast, but Nicholas picks up on his antics and eventually the whole table is pretending to puke up mashed potatoes.

Natalie and Isabelle refuse to eat them anymore after that.

When dinner was finished the four kids helped the mothers wash up their plates. Nick and Harald took it upon themselves to make some hot chocolate for everyone after fixing the fire in the fireplace. Isabelle, more excited than ever, raced through the plate washing. Making sure she stacked them neatly as she dried.

"Slow down, Is. You'll break a plate." Madeline says from beside Alex, who was taking his damn time at washing off the plates.

"Sorry," Isabelle mumbled. Sophia sent her a gentle hip bump and a nod of encouragement. Isabelle smiled at the blonde then continued on drying the dinnerware as it came.

By the time they finished, the whole cabin smelled of fresh hot coco and Elina's vegan cookies. From the living-room, the Christmas music had been turned up (Sharlene was already on her third glass of wine at this point) so it was blasting through the cabin. _I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause_ danced throughout the cabin, as did Madeline. Jumping from chair to chair, she sang along to the verses while Nick pulled out his camcorder and recorded.

Isabelle had retreated to the bedroom and dug under her bed; hand violently searching for the present she had made for Madeline. When she finally felt the familiar styrofoam ball, she pulled it out and smiled at her creation. Part of the handle was a little smooshed, but it worked so she dropped it into her gift bag and walked back out to the others who had already started passing out gifts. Right off the bat she noticed her spot taken over by a large present. She did her best to hide the excitement, but the smile was growing bigger and bigger by the minute.

"Who's that for?" Alex asked, pointing at Isabelle's gift bag.

"Madeline," Isabelle smiled, moving the big present away from her spot so she could get comfortable.

Alex frowned, "Nothing for me?"

"Not this year," Isabelle smirked.

Madeline creeped her way over and looked at her sister, "Can I open it?"

Isabelle's head shook quickly, "Best for last."

Elina went first, opening the four gifts she had. Two from Nick, one from Sharlene, and the last one from her daughters; which was a piece of paper that had both their handprints painted on. The row continued on; Nick, Sharlene, Harald, Sophia, Natalie, and then Madeline.

When she opened Isabelle's gift and discovered the fake microphone she giggled like a mad man and instantly began to dance around the living-room. It made Isabelle's tummy warm and fuzzy, especially when Madeline had announced it was the best gift she'd gotten all night.

Alex opened his presents next. His parents buying him a new amp for his guitar made him more than excited to go home and practice a bit (event though he had already gotten pretty good at playing the easy songs). Isabelle teased him, referring back to the band name Madeline and him had come up with. So Alex said he'd dedicate his next song to her, even though she knew the song wasnt going to be anything you would want dedicated to you.

Finally, it was Isabelle's turn. Her eyes had been ogling over the big box next to her since she first laid them on it. Her fingers frantically tore apart the wrapping paper, giggling when her mom told her to slow down. She saw the label first and immediately froze, eyes trailing towards her parents, who were smiling from ear to ear.

"Is this.." Isabelle breathed out, voice getting caught in the back of her throat.

"Open it up, honey." Elina cooed, nodding her head.

Isabelle's cheeks began to heat up, heart thumping against her chest. She tore away the remaining wrapping paper and gasped, "A guitar."

Next to her, Madeline could feel her blood boil. Music was her thing, sports was Isabelle's.

_Gibson_ was printed in bold letters across the black guitar case. When Isabelle opened the hatch of the case, a beautiful dark wooden guitar shined like a million bucks in her eyes. She could hardly contain the excitement as she yanked it up and propped it on her leg. The chords played a soft tune as she ran her fingers over the strings. The tears that were threatening to spill over, now covers her freckled cheeks.

"Do you like it?" Nick asked, wrapping an arm around his wife.

Liked it? Isabelle _loved_ it. Her smile covered half her face, "Yes. So much."

"We got a warranty in case you break it."

"I won't break it," Isabelle chuckles, wiping tears off her face.

Alex plopped on the seat next to her. Grinning, he turned towards her and adjusted the guitar so it was correctly placed in her tiny hands. "Like this," Alex instructed. "And make sure you keep your eyes on your fingers as you practice. Just get a feel for it before you start writing any songs about me, Fuhrman."

Isabelle rolled her eyes, "Why would I ever write a song about _you_?"

Alex smirked, plucking a chord on her guitar, "Because I'm me."

Next to them Madeline snorts, "Please, Xander, no one but yourself wants to write a song about you."

Natalie and Sophia giggled.

"It's true." Nicholas smirked.

Isabelle, who will be ten in two months, was old enough to understand the situation. Mainly because she knew Alexander well enough to know that this cocky behavior was only a decoy to hide his true emotions he would soon have to face. The emotions being heightened, given he was probably close to going through his young pubescent puberty stages. She had just learned a little bit about it in health class. The more-or-less talks of puberty only tainted a small part of her childhood. Madeline had told her that it only gets worse from here on up. Especially when they hit eighth grade. Alex was one year away from learning about the reproductive system.

Lovely.

"It is not true," Alex shot his brother a look, "I have a girlfriend."

"Your teacher doesn't count as a girlfriend." Madeline teased, poking his calf muscle covered by his _Spiderman_ pj pants.

Sharlene raised her eyebrows, "A girlfriend?"

Alex sunk in the couch next to Isabelle and awkwardly chuckled, "Okay.. so maybe not a girlfriend, but a friend that's a girl."

"You're an idiot, Ludwig." Madeline smirked, leaning back against the couch again.

Alex lightly kicked her below him and turned back to Isabelle, "You better get practicing."

"I will." Isabelle smiled, looking at her parents. She rose up and quickly embraced them, tightly.

After presents, Isabelle and Natalie set up a fort in the livingroom with Sophia while Madeline, Nicholas, and Alex went outside in the snow. The girls propped up pillows everywhere, making sure the ground was as soft as could be so it was comfortable to lay down on. Elina had allowed them to hook up a small VHS TV inside so they could watch _A Christmas Story_. Harald occasionally refilling their mugs with hot chocolate for them so they wouldn't miss their favorite scenes.

When that movie ended, Madeline and the others had come back inside and stripped out of their snow pants. Madeline and Nicholas, uninterested in the movie _Home Alone_ , played on Nicholas's Xbox. Alex, whose nose was bright red, crawled into the tent and plopped down to Isabelle, smiling when she made more room for him.

"What are you watching?" Alex whispered, careful not piss off his two sisters.

Isabelle glanced at him, keeping her voice just as low, "Home Alone."

"Home Alone? Is that some kind of horror movie?" Isabelle looked at him with a dumb expression and Alex chuckled, "I'm just kidding."

She shook her head, pulling her knees up to her chest, "Madeline was right, you're an idiot."

"Yeah, I might be, but I'm _your_ idiot." Alex poked her arm, smirking.

Isabelle sighed and turned to face him, "Sadly."

"For a nine-year old you sure are sassy."

"Madeline is my sister."

"Good point."

"Can you guys be quiet?" Natalie hissed, shooting the two of them a look.

Alex waved her off and turned back to Isabelle, "I know what I'm getting you for your birthday."

"I don't want anything for my birthday."

"So you don't want an iPod Nano?"

Isabelle's head whipped quickly, eyes wide, "What?"

Alex shrugged, "I got one for Christmas last year and havent really used it. I figured I'd give it to you."

"What about Madeline?"

"Madeline already has an iPod Shuffle."

This was true, for her birthday last year Elina had gotten Madeline the iPod Shuffle after Madeline begged and begged, and begged. Finally, Nick just caved in, went to the apple store, and bought one.

"But those are expensive." Isabelle sighed, "I can't just take your stuff."

"It's a present, Bells."

"But-"

"I'm giving it to you whether you like it or not. I won't see you on your real birthday, so I'll give it to you tomorrow. Plus, maybe it will help you write music."

"I'm not very good at writing music."

"Shut up." Alex chuckled as he looked over the girls face. Her nose was scrunched up in frustration, freckles poured across her cheeks, "You'll get better."

Isabelle nodded a little, "Thanks, Xander."

Alex grinned, "Of course. C'mere."

Isabelle scooted closer to him as he wrapped an arm around her, pushing her into his chest, their backs against the couch that helped keep the blanket up for the fort. Alex pushed some of her dark brown hair out of his face as she watched the TV.

And they stayed that way, wrapped up in each other, until Sharlene had to wake up them so Alex could head home.

That night, Isabelle turned towards her sister while she laid in bed, "Madeline?"

Madeline, half asleep hummed.

"Am I Alex's girlfriend?"

Madeline peeled her eyes open and looked her sister. Only able to see the outline, given it was too dark to see anything else in the room, "His girlfriend?"

"A friend that is a girl?"

"I mean, yeah."

Isabelle pressed her lips together, "Okay."

Madeline watched Isabelle plop back down and cover herself up more with blankets, "You're so weird, Is."

"So are you, _Maddie_." Isabelle smirked, burying her face into her pillow.

Madeline scoffed, before laying back down and closing her eyes.

In the Ludwig cabin Alex had Harald help him set up a playlist on his old iPod specifically for Isabelle. When that was finished, Sharlene helped him wrap it carefully in a cute box with a bow. Alex scribbled her name on it and tucked it under his bed before falling asleep.

Isabelle cried when she opened it then proceed to share her headphones with him all day as he helped her learn the basics of a guitar.

Not even Madeline could tear them apart.

 


	5. 2007

Isabelle's small frame just barely fit under the table. Her head ducked down as she watched the feet dance by.

"Do you copy?" Nick mumbled into his walkie-talkie, two rooms over from her.

"I copy and I see the suspect. I'm going in."

"Be careful, cadet."

Isabelle raced across the kitchen floor as she sprinted towards the hallway. The Ludwig cabin was much bigger than hers. More room to run, to hide, to spy.

"I see it!" Isabelle yelled into her walkie, racing towards the basement door.

Before she could put her hand on the handle a strong force wrapped their arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. Peaches and mint filled her nose as Natalie held her tightly.

"I got her! I got her! Bring in the reinforcements!" Natalie shouted, not letting Isabelle escape.

Isabelle screeched, "Nicholas! Nicholas! They got me! They got me!"

Sophia jumped out from behind a door and ran at the two girls, hands flying around as she laughed like a maniac. Isabelle screamed when Sophia's fingers danced across her tummy, tickling her all over.

Nicholas turned the corner and saw the girls. Aiming his Nerf gun he yelled, "Let her go!"

"Never!" Natalie howled, laughing so hard tears threatened to spill over.

Isabelle was spazzing on the floor as Sophia tickled her, "Help -- help me!"

Nicholas fired his nerf gun at Natalie who immediately ducked out-of-the-way. She charged towards her brother, who struggled to re-load his toy gun. Before she could reach, Sharlene's voice boomed through the hallways, "Present time!"

Both Natalie and Nicholas stopped in their tracks, Nicholas dropping his gun to race his sister to the living-room. Sophia and Isabelle followed in a slow walk. They knew they both weren't getting much out of this. Other than maybe a piece of candy and a couple of hugs.

It was, after all, Nicholas and Natalie's birthdays today.

Sharlene had invited a whole bunch of people up north for the celebration. Alex finally turning thirteen last month was apparently a big deal. Natalie and Nicholas turning eleven wasn't anything extravagant, but Sharlene still wanted to make their day special whilst celebrating Alex at the same time.

Isabelle sat down next to Sophia, glancing around at the unfamiliar faces and some recognizable ones, which were mostly Alexs' grandparents. Sophia leaned her head onto Isabelle's shoulder as more adults flooded into the room. Isabelle caught Alex slip into the mix, a grin plastered on his face.

"Before we begin I just want to thank everyone for coming. It's always lovely to see family and friends together. Especially to celebrate birthdays." Sharlene announced, gently lifting her wine glass into the air.

Isabelle tugged on the hem of her bright pink "GIRLS RULE' t-shirt that Elina had gotten at GAP on her 8th birthday. It had grown only a tad bit smaller than it was originally, but Isabelle wore it anyways; especially at the cabin over her soaked swimsuit.

"Alex, Natalie, and Nicholas.. we are all here to celebrate you as you grow in age. We love you so, so much." Sharlene wiped tears from her eyes and Sophia huffed.

Being the youngest of the group probably had its down-fall, Isabelle knew that much. Always getting Madeline's hammy-downs and constantly babied. It was like the adults were afraid to watch their own kids grow up, even though they had seen this coming for years.

Alex sat up proudly in the lazy boy when Harald handed him a present. It was a small box, like a brick, and when Alex peeled apart the wrapping paper it just showed a photo of..

"A phone!" Alex yelled, looking at his parents.

"Well, yes, but you wont get the real thing until the 29th. We ordered it for you. Figuring you're old enough to have a phone now." Sharlene smiled.

Natalie peeked her head up and over his shoulder to observe the box. The packaging had an apple on it, which Natalie recognized seeing on the back of Madeline's iPod whenever they listened to music together.

"A phone?" Natalie frowned, "No fair."

"He's a teenager now, sweetie. You'll get one too at that age."

Alex smirked at his sister, "Ya, you gotta wait."

The adults all chuckled, but Isabelle couldn't help but feel the same emotion Natalie was feeling. She remembered when Madeline starting going to Middle School, she wasn't home as often. Always out with friends or having them over at their house. Being kicked out of the playroom so the girls could watch "big kid" films. Isabelle was scared that Alex having a phone meant she was going to watch him disappear behind the screen.

Throughout the rest of the present opening, Isabelle remained seated next to Sophia, who kept her blonde head rested on her shoulder. Occasionally she would feel the rumbled of laughter throughout the room, but it was usually just when Nicholas and Alex teased each other.

Isabelle wished her sister was here with her. Someone to make her laugh, but Elina and Madeline were busy and couldn't make it up to the party so Sharlene offered to watch Isabelle while they were out. Of course, Isabelle didn't mind. She loved the Ludwig cabin; it was much larger than hers and full of interesting art. Nick, Isabelle's dad, wasn't too keen on art. Instead the Fuhrman cabin was flooded with photos and antiques that sometimes smelled like an old ash tray.

The Ludwig cabin was an escape route for the young girl, despite her need for Madelines' hugs.

When the kiddos were finally dismissed to keep playing on, Alex disappeared before Isabelle could ask him about his phone. Sophia asked if she wanted to play dolls, but Isabelle said no and pulled the iPod Alex had given her for Christmas and trotted towards the lounge room.

It was the only quiet room in the cabin and Isabelle was grateful for that.

She crawled under the blanket fort her and Nick had made earlier to use as their base camp and plugged her headphones into the iPod. Thankfully, her dad had a computer that allowed her to put some of her own songs on it. Although Alex's playlist he made was decent, Isabelle preferred her Avril Lavigne and Kelly Clarkson songs over Chris Brown.

Her finger circled across the trackpad until she came across a song she liked and pressed play. _Teardrops On My Guitar_ by Taylor Swift starts playing and Isabelle lies on her back, humming along to the melody.

Eventually, she feels herself start to drift off into a slumber, but before long she being shaken awake.

Isabelle swats her hand at the figure and yanks her headphones out, "What do you want?"

Alex smiles down at her, "Whatcha listening to? My playlist?"

"You wish," Isabelle pauses her iPod and sits up.

"Yeah, yeah." Alex rolls his eyes, grabbing her headphones and putting them on.

Isabelle didn't remember what song was playing after her first one until Alex starts belting.

"OUR SONG IS A SLAMMING SCREEN DOOR! SNEAKING OUT LATE TAPPING ON YOUR WINDOW!"

"Stop, stop!" Isabelle covers her ears.

"OUR SONG IS THE WAY YOU LAUGH!"

Isabelle laughs, shoving the boy out of the fort, "Shut up, Alex!"

"The first date man I didn't kiss her when I should have," Alex winks at Isabelle and she feels her cheeks up.

When she goes to snatch her iPod back, he pulls her down on top of him and she lets out a squeak. His breath is hot against her face when he whispers the song in a  taunting way, "I was walking up the front porch steps after everything that day. Had gone all wrong, had been trampled on and lost and thrown away."

Isabelle shook her head, rolling her eyes, "You're such an idiot."

Alex hoisted her up, her hair covering his face, "Got to the hallway well on my way to my lovin' bed. I almost didn't notice all the roses and the note that said."

She couldn't hold it in anymore, "Our song is a slamming screen door! Sneaking out late tapping on your window!"

Alex laughed, rolling over so he hovered over her, "When we're on the phone and you talk real slow. 'Cause it's late and your mama don't know."

Isabelle laughed so hard tears pooled out of her eyes. Her hands pushing against Alex's chest until he stood up and helped the girl to her feet. Isabelle flattened her hair out and blew her bangs out of her eyes, "You really do know your words, huh?"

"Natalie plays that song all the time."

"U-huh," Isabelle teased, "I'm sure _Natalie_ plays it a lot."

Alex gave her a small glare before turning towards the entrance of the room. Nicholas strutted in, carrying a piece of cake on a napkin, "Cake time."

"I'm not hungry," Isabelle shrugged.

Alex wasted no time racing out of the room.

"You wanna play spy again?" Isabelle asked, pointing to the blanket fort.

"Of course," Nicholas smiles, the frosting from the cake is all over his cheeks and lips. "I'm thinking we spy on Natalie and Sophia again. They're watching movies."

"Ooooh," Isabelle smirks, "The perfect set up!"

Nicholas shoves the rest of his cake into his mouth before setting the napkin aside. He licks the rest of the frosting off his face then starts setting up with Isabelle.

"Here is your walkie," Isabelle smiles, handing it over to him.

"Actually," Nicholas glances at the walkie, "I was thinking we do this together. Two is better than one."

"Okay."

"Natalie and Sophia are in the basement." Nicholas points to a piece of paper where he had Isabelle draw out a diagram of the house in red crayon.

"The last time we tried to get to the basement I got tackled by Sophia."

"Which is why we gotta be more careful this time," Nicholas chuckles. "If Alex catches us he will most likely rat us out."

"So how do we stay hidden?" Isabelle's eyebrows furrow in confusion. There really isn't any other way to get downstairs and all the hallways are flooded with family members. They both know that with their previous luck, risking getting stopped by an adult is not a good idea.

"We slide against the walls and use the curtains as cover."

Isabelle snorts, "If it works."

"It will."

"Okay, okay. Let's do this."

Nicholas leads, sliding along the hallway walls. The kitchen is only a few rooms down from them, but from here to there are plenty of windows with curtains for cover. Thankfully, Isabelle's small frame gives her an advantage as she hides behind one quickly as an adult walks by.

Their first obstacle is an open door way that leads into the Ludwig's in-home gym. Which never made sense to have up north, but Harald enjoyed running on the treadmill. Nicholas freezes and holds up a hand that causes Isabelle to stand still against the wall.

"I see Alex," Nicholas whispers. He crouches down on his hands and knees and crawls up to the doorway, peaking around someone. "He's with someone."

Isabelle crawls up behind him, "Who?"

"I don't know. A girl."

Isabelle bites on the inside of her cheek before crawling up on top of Nicholas and also peaking around the door frame, but she almost wishes she hadn't.

The girl has long curly brown hair, but it doesn't do a good job a hiding her lips meeting Alex's lips. The kiss doesn't last very long because Isabelle topples off Nicholas with a loud grunt.

Both the girl and Alex turn to look at the two spies.

"Guys!" Alex yells, quickly racing towards the door. "Get out of here!"

Nicholas starts laughing hysterically.

"Seriously, go away!" Alex slams the door in his brothers face, but his laughter could still be heard through the door.

Isabelle stares at the door, unable to peel her eyes away. She feels her bottom lip start to tremble and eyes start to water up.

Nicholas looks over at the girl, his laughter receding, "Is?"

She can't muster up the courage to pretend like what she didn't see didn't send her into a whirlpool of emotions, so instead she quickly stands up and rushes towards the kitchen. Her feet running by the adults who move out of the way when she plows through the crowd. Nicholas tries to follow, but gives up when he watches her push through the doors that lead outside.

The sand is hot against her feet, given no one has touched it all afternoon and the sun has cooked it long enough. Isabelle plops on her butt and stares at the water, quickly wiping away the tears in her eyes.

Of _course_ she liked Alex. She's liked Alex for a while, but now? Now she wasn't so sure. He was a teenager and she was just a ten year-old who still needed a life vest to jump off the dock because she was afraid of sinking to the bottom of the lake.

Back in the house Alex was still kissing the girl. It was awkward, quick pecks.

The girl giggled, "Alex."

"What?" Alex smiled, looking around the room. "Nicholas isn't going to tattle."

"What if he does!"

"I'll kick his butt," Alex chuckled. "Trust me, Nicole, we're in, like, a bunker right now."

Nicole Pedra, the daughter of Sharlene's friend Rebecca. Nicole was in Alex's class this past year and the two of them had grown close. Going on movie dates and sometimes going mini golfing together. Alex liked Nicole and Nicole liked Alex.

Isabelle stood up from the sand and brushed herself off. She was tired of crying, so she marched back into the house and headed straight for the basement door, but before she did, a pitstop at the gym sounded like a great idea.

When the door swung open, Alex looked at Isabelle and Isabelle looked at him. Her cheeks red and eyes blotchy, she threw the iPod at him. "I think it's _your_ song and this is the slamming door."

Isabelle slammed the door and went to the basement.

Alex didn't follow her and Isabelle didn't get the iPod back. 

 


	6. 2013: part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Walking like a one man army  
> Fighting with the shadows in your head  
> Living out the same old moment  
> Knowing you'd be better off instead,  
> If you could only  
> Say what you need to say"  
> Say | John Mayer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the SECOND time im writing this and im too tired to write everything out again bc its 3am and im so tired so lsdajflskdjflsdkjlsdjf anyways. 
> 
> this is a mess and i wrote it because i just missed it so much and yeah. i skipped way ahead into the future and im sorry, but you can only write the mind of a six year old before you start literally losing brain cells. 
> 
> anyways, i apologize ahead for this shit show. its all over the place and i really have no idea where i was going or what i was doing i just needed to get the show: on the road. 
> 
> also, shout out to amanda who literally is the only reason why this chapter is being updated. amanda, i love you to the moon and back. you inspire me every single day. thank you for being who you are. 
> 
> if you have any questions, hit me up on instagram @clove.fuhrman or if you just wanna be friends. for a playlist.. take this link: https://open.spotify.com/user/amazingraeful/playlist/3PZYCW1coC9rGHyvSp6QLg?si=Q0zGmGgUQEO39xoPZ2CDWw
> 
> xoxo  
> graceful

Divorce always was a weird concept to Isabelle. She had friends whose parents got divorced when they were young. Unknown to the consequences and blind to the mess behind the closed doors. They had told her that at first it hurts, but after a while you start getting used to it. The only thing no one told her was how to deal with one of her parents moving across the country while the other resides in the same place she had grown to love. The place she had been calling home since birth.

Isabelle set her box down and let out a deep breath. Her room wasn’t any bigger than her old one, but it had carpet and that meant no more cold feet. The previous owners had painted the walls a light cream color and replaced the light fixture with a ceiling fan.

“Where do you want this one?” Alex asked as he walked into the room carrying a box.

Isabelle glanced at him and pointed to her closet, “There. It’s my clothing box. Blue tape.”

Alex hummed, “Sounds good.”

Isabelle looked around her room and crossed her arms. Her bed still wasn’t set up, but the mattresses were on the floor, stacked up and covered in her bed sheets. All she wanted to do was collapse into the pile and sleep forever.

“You good?” Alex asked, nudging her lightly with his elbow.

“Totally.” Isabelle mumbled, glancing at him. “Let’s get more boxes.”

“You know you can talk to me, right?”

“I know.” Isabelle said, leading the way out her door. She looked around the upstairs hallway as they went, “I just don’t know what to talk about.”

“Well, when you figure it out. I’m here.”

Isabelle looked over her shoulder and smiled softly, “Thanks, Zander.”

He gave her a quick wink before she turned forwards again, skipping a few steps as she went downstairs. Madeline pushed past them carrying a box as they walked back outside to the UHaul. They had been unpacking all day and thankfully, this was their last trip. The sun was starting to set, and the lack of food and sleep was making everyone a little on edge. Especially Elina, who was weeping into Sharlene because she couldn’t reach the last box.

Alex moved around his mother quickly and pulled it off the shelf and gave Elina a sad smile before walking back into the house. Isabelle walked up to her mother and leaned into her slowly, rubbing her back gently.

It all seemed like a movie to her. One moment her parents were sleeping in the same bed, kissing each other’s foreheads before they went off to work and the next moment they were at each other’s throats. Screaming about the most unnecessary things like crumbs on the counter or the bed not being made in the morning. And then her mother sat Madeline and her down one night to tell them that their father was moving to San Diego and that the three of them were staying here, in Wisconsin.

Isabelle called Natalie first, sobbing on the phone in her room. Natalie did everything she could to make her feel better, but nothing worked. Nothing made the ache in her chest go away. Nothing was going to keep her parents together.

When Alex had gotten wind, he drove over to her house all the way from Waunakee, past her curfew, and begged Elina to let her out so they could get McFlurry’s at McDonalds. Elina only said yes when Isabelle didn’t take no for an answer.

“It feels like I got slapped in the face,” Isabelle said as she stirred her melting ice cream. “None of this makes sense. I don’t know why or how or what…”

“Hey,” Alex whispered, pulling her into his chest, “it’s going to be alright. You, your mom, and sister will all be alright.”

Isabelle cried into his chest, sitting on the trunk of his car in the parking lot. She cried on the way home and she cried in bed that night. Alex was right, she knew that. But it didn’t make anything easier and it still wasn’t easier now, as she watched her mom cry into her hands outside their brand-new house in Waunakee.

There was one upside Isabelle was grateful for. The Ludwig’s were their next-door neighbors. It was the luck her family needed. The only good thing she could pick out of the situation. The second next best thing was the person who wrapped his arm around her shoulder and smiled at her, teeth and all. Alex. Always.

“You want me and Nicholas to help you set up the bed? Or do you think you could tackle that on your own?” he asked, glancing at Elina who had finally started to calm down.

“I could use the help, honestly. I suck with tools.”

Alex chuckled, “Alrighty then. I’ll get Nick and meet you up there.”

Isabelle nodded then headed back inside. Madeline was walking downstairs as she entered. She sent her sister a small smile, “A new beginning, right?”

Madeline shrugged, “Right.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too, Belly.” Madeline squeezed her arm as she brushed by.

When Isabelle got back into her room, she took a look around and thought about how to layout her furniture. Imagined how the posters will look on her walls and what color she would want to paint her room someday.

Nick and Alex walked into her room a few minutes later with some tools and the three of them began setting up her bed frame. Thankfully, it didn’t take as long as she expected it to because Nicholas was much handier than Alexander was. He basically took over a one point when Alex started flicking Isabelle’s ear and pulling random pieces of hair to annoy her.

“Done.” Nicholas said, clapping his hands together. “You officially have a bed.”

Isabelle smiled, “Thanks guys.”

“Can I go home now?” Nicholas asked, chuckling. “I’m exhausted.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you later.”

“See you, Bells.” Nicholas gave her a quick hug then nodded at his brother before slipping out of the room quickly.

Isabelle plopped back on her bed, looking up at the ceiling. Alex following in pursuit, lying next to her, “Whatcha thinking about?”

Isabelle shrugged, glancing at him, “Too much.”

“Yeah.” Alex sighed, “I don’t blame you.”

“I think the only thing I’m actually kind of excited for is starting High School.”

Alex chuckled, “Trust me, it’s not all that great.”

Isabelle turned her head to look at him and frowned, “Don’t say that. I need this to work.”

Alex astayed quiet for a moment, glancing at her slowly, “Sorry.”

“It’s alright. I just…”

“I get it,” Alex looked over her face and gave her a small smile, “Always gotta have that one thing to keep you on your toes, but instead of the shitty things… something good. Like meeting new friends and joining some sports.”

“Exactly.” Isabelle smiled softly, “That’s exactly it.”

Alex looked up at the ceiling again and yawned. Isabelle watched him for a moment then looked up again as well. The two of them laying in silence they both didn’t know how much they needed until now.

Isabelle was so thankful for Alex and she was so happy to now have him as a neighbor.

He was one of her closest friends. Growing up attached at the hip, even on the bad days. He always there when she needed him, and she was always there when he needed her. It’s just what they did. It was who they were.

Although, through the years the two of them started to become their own person. Alex went through puberty and started dating girls. Started having sex, started drinking and going to parties. He started growing up while Isabelle was still stuck at the kids table on Thanksgiving. He was seeing the world and learning new things while Isabelle was still asking permission to go anywhere – and when she did go somewhere, she got rides from her parents since she still couldn’t drive.

Alex sat up and ran a hand through his hair, “I think I’m gonna head home and shower up. I told Nicole I’d get dinner with her tonight after we were done unpacking.”

Isabelle almost rolled her eyes at her name, “Okay.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” Alex asked, rising to his feet.

Isabelle sat up and nodded, “Course.”

“Cool.” Alex smiled. “See ya, Fuhrman.”

“Goodbye, Ludwig.” Isabelle smiled back.

Alex gave her a wink, then walked out her door. Isabelle let her smile fade as he disappeared behind the wall, laying back down slowly.

There was one thing that Isabelle knew for certain. Something only Madeline knew because she shook it out of her when they were young. Something Isabelle wished she could shove down the drain and grind it in the garbage disposal.

She was hopelessly, madly, completely in love with Alex.

And she knew that it probably wasn’t good for their friendship to have those kinds of feelings. Especially when he was happily in a relationship and was older than her by four years. Especially because he was her best friend. Nothing less and nothing more.

Alex considered her his little sister. At sporting events when she’d tag along with Natalie, he would introduce her as his best friend and she always heard the “she’s like my little sister” whenever one of his friends would most likely give him shit. She was used to it, but it used to drive her crazy.

Sometimes after baseball games, before Alex and Nicole started dating his Sophomore year, Alex would shove his hat onto her head and pull her into a tight, sweaty hug. Isabelle would always notice the girls around them glaring or watching her carefully. They most likely saw her as a threat, which to some degree, she was. At football games, whenever he would push through the crowd to walk up to her, smiling from ear to ear, Isabelle could hear the small whispers. But Alex never seemed to mind. After all, she was considered a sister. Nothing more and nothing less.

Eventually, instead of Isabelle, it slowly became Nicole. Alex started bringing her around more often than before towards the end of his Sophomore year. He brought her to the cabins, he brought her to Isabelle’s summer soccer games, he brought her on ice cream runs, he brought her to everything. At baseball games, she was the one getting the hat on the head. She was the one he put his arm around. Nicole became the threat and Isabelle slowly became the back ground noise.

Alex and Nicole had known each other for a while. Isabelle could still recall the time she caught them kissing years back at Nicholas and Natalie’s’ birthday party. It was the first time she told Madeline she hated Alex, even though it was far from the truth.

Nicole was always around after that. Her mother was good friends with Sharlene, so she got a pass to all the shenanigans. Isabelle never talked to her much. Always watched from afar as she and Alex spent time together down by the lake. They always sat close; closer than him and Isabelle do. And sometimes, if she looked at the wrong times, they would kiss.

Natalie had told Isabelle once that Nicole was probably in love with him.

“You can just tell by the way she looks him,” Natalie had said, twirling her blonde hair as they sat on the dock watching the couple in the sand. “It’s the way my mom looks my dad.”

When Alex had his Junior prom and Elina had taken Isabelle with to hang out with Sharlene for the day to take photos, she heard Alex tell Nicole he loved her. And that’s when Isabelle knew, Alex would never love her the way she wanted him to.

Isabelle sat up in her bed and rubbed her face quickly. The burning in the back of her eyes threatening to spill over tears. She could hear Madeline downstairs with her mom talking about unpacking some of the kitchen supplies, but Isabelle was too tired to see if they needed help. So, she got up and walked across the hall to the bathroom where she showered away the day and any thoughts about what she could have.

***

If Isabelle learned anything from the movies she watched on TV, it was that high school really wasn’t like movies. However, Alexander fit the popular guy role perfectly. She heard his name everywhere the second she walked through the doors. If it wasn’t girls talking about him, it was guys discussing sporting events or school records for baseball or football screaming in her face. He was basically a celebrity and a little part of Isabelle felt powerful knowing she was so close to him.

Madeline had given her a ride to school, but shortly disappeared to find the band room, leaving Isabelle to fend for herself. She had texted Natalie and Nicholas to see where they would be during the morning, but Nicholas was busy at morning cross country practice and Natalie never responded.

Isabelle wasn’t as nervous as she thought she would be. Most of her preparation had occurred the night before; planning out an outfit and making sure all her school supplies were in order. She even prepped a lunch for herself, so she didn’t have to get stuck waiting in line. Everything, to her, seemed to be perfectly in motion.

That was until she couldn’t get her locker open.

“Need some help there?”

Isabelle turned her head slowly and smiled, “Zander.”

“Bells.” Alex smiled, leaning against the locker next to hers, “How’s the first day going?”

“Other than not being to open my locker and having no one to talk to… it’s been okay, but it also hasn’t even begun.” Isabelle sighed and looked back at her lock.

“Let me see your combination.” Alex said, holding out his hand.

She handed over the paper that had her code on it and watched his eyes as they quickly scanned across the paper, “Well, Is, I hate to break it to you… but the reason why you can’t open your locker is because it’s the wrong one.”

“What?”

Alex point to the locker next to her, “Yours is 342. Not 343.”

Isabelle felt her cheeks heat up, “Oh.”

“I thought you said you weren’t nervous?” Alex smirked, twisting the dial on her locker.

“I’m not. I just don’t want to be late to first hour.”

“Well,” Alex said, opening her locker, “you won’t be. There’s about ten minutes till class yet. What’s your first hour?”

“I have English with Mrs. Rogers.”

“You love English.”

“Which is why I don’t want to be late.” Isabelle unzipped her bag and started shoving books in one-by-one. Alex leaned his back against the purple locker next to hers and watched, “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t you have some friends you gotta meet up with?”

Alex snorted, “Aren’t you my friend?”

Isabelle paused and turned to look at him, eyebrows pulled together, “You know what I meant, smartass.”

Alex gave her a quick wink.

“I’m serious. You don’t have to help me, Zander. I can figure out this beast alone.”

“Are you sure?” Alex nudged his elbow into her lightly.

Isabelle smiled at him softly, “One hundred percent.”

“If you insist, then I shall-“

“There you are!” Alex and Isabelle both turned their attention to Nicole, who was walking up to them quickly, “I just got your text. I thought you’d be at your locker.”

“Nah.” Alex shrugged, smiling a bit when Nicole kissed his cheek. “Saw Isabelle on my way over and thought I’d chat.”

Nicole turned to face Isabelle and gave her a small half wave, “Hey.”

“Morning.” Isabelle nodded back.

She didn’t hate Nicole, but she didn’t like her either.

Nicole wasn’t like Natalie’s friends, who were kind and funny. Nicole was a force of nature. She knew what she wanted, and she got it - which Isabelle was a bit jealous of. Nicole was also very pretty; long brown hair, deep brown eyes. Her body was fit, so you could tell she worked out often and it probably helped that she was in cheer. Plus, unlike Isabelle, she was filled out in all the right places.

“How’s your first day so far?” Nicole asked, “Excited to be in high school finally?”

“You could say that.” Isabelle shrugged, glancing at Alex who gave her a playful look.

“You’ll love it here. Waunakee is great. Plenty of school spirit, clubs, and sports.” Nicole smiled, “Are you interested in any of those?”

“I really wanna join the drama club, but who knows. I also missed the deadline for cross-country so hopefully track this year in Spring works out.”

“I didn’t know you wanted to join drama.” Alex said, crossing his arms.

“I didn’t either,” Isabelle chuckled and closed her locker. “But it’s a new experience and I could meet some new people, so why not go for it?”

“Huh,” Alex smirked, “look at baby Bells growing up all on her own.”

Isabelle shot him a look, “I’m going to class now. It was nice to see you, Nicole.”

“You too.” Nicole waved, “Have a good first day.”

“Thanks.” Isabelle nodded, shot Alex a thumbs up, then marched off to find her first hour.

The hallways were crowded. Some people walking either too slow or in too big of groups. Thankfully, Isabelle was small enough to shove past some of them so she could quickly get to the classroom. It was empty all expect for one girl who was seated in the back, doodling on her notebook. When she glanced up at Isabelle, she paused and gave her a small smile.

“You look new.” The girl said, pointing at her.

Isabelle nodded, “Yeah, I’m new. How could you tell?”

“You look lost.”

“Oh,” Isabelle chuckled. “Is it that obvious?”

“Kinda.” The girl motioned to the seat next to her, “Have a seat.”

Isabelle obliged, sliding into the seat next to her slowly. She could smell her vanilla perfume right away. Isabelle sat her backpack down by her feet and turned to the girl, “I’m Isabelle.”

“I’m Luca.” She smiled. “Where’d you move from?”

“Madison.”

“Not too far then.” Luca said, pushing some hair over her shoulder, “Which is nice because then you kinda know the area.”

Isabelle nodded, “Yeah. I’ve been here a few times for soccer tournaments last year and this summer. My friend is in Baseball and Football here, so I come to his games. Then some Volleyball games for my other friend.”

Luca raised her eyebrows, “Oh, so you’re very familiar with the area.”

“I guess.” Isabelle chuckled.

“Who are your friends?”

“Uh.” Isabelle glanced down at her hands, “Alexander, Natalie, and Nicholas Ludwig?”

“No way!” Luca chuckled, “I know Natalie, sorta, kinda. Her brother is hot.”

Isabelle could feel her cheeks heat up, “Which one?”

Luca snorted, “Alex. Well, both, honestly.”

“Oh, yeah. They’re okay.”

“Whatever you say.” Luca nudged her. “I get it. The whole friend-zone thing is weird.”

“Oh I… I’ve known him for a really long time. Our parents are super good friends.”

“No shit?” Luca raised her eyebrows again, “So you’re not really friend-zoned then you’re like…”

“Sister-zoned.” Isabelle mumbled.

“Yeah!” Luca laughed, “Yeah, that’s perfect.”

Isabelle shrugged, “At least I’m still friends with him.”

“True, some girls would kill for that spot.”

Isabelle rolled her eyes, “Okay, let’s not turn this into a movie.”

Luca held up a hand, “You got it boss.”

English went by fast. The only thing Isabelle was given to take home was a short syllabus on what they’d be doing for the semester. Her and Luca made small talk here and there, exchanged numbers, and planned to sit next to each other at lunch. She was happy to have found a friend so soon and Luca was already a joy to be around. Her bubbly attitude towards the small things made Isabelle feel all warm inside and for a few moments, forget about all the negative things that had been going on around her.

The rest of the classes went by pretty quickly as well. She met two more people in two different classes; Kyle and AnnaSophia. Kyle was in drama, which brightened Isabelle’s day. He told her all about the upcoming play ideas they wanted to do and told her to meet him in the auditorium after school to meet the rest of the club. AnnaSophia was actually a Junior in her gym class because she refused to do it earlier, but it was a requirement to graduate. They clicked instantly and stuck by each other’s side for the rest of class and exchanged numbers as well.

Isabelle was pleased with how well her first day had gone and now she was waiting for Luca to show up at Lunch. She had told her to meet outside the cafeteria doors in the left wing, so Isabelle got there as quickly as possible. Crowds of kids pushed their way through the doors eager to get in line before it got too long.

“Well, well, well.” Alex said as he walked up to Isabelle. “We meet again.”

Isabelle smiled, “Hey.”

“How’s it been going?”

“Really well actually. I’m waiting for a friend so we can sit together.” Isabelle motioned towards the lunch room with her hands and raised her eyebrows.

“You wanna sit with Mark and I?”

“Oh, hell no.” Isabelle laughed, “Sorry, but you two together are rowdy as crap.”

“Hey,” Alex put a hand to his chest, “that hurts.”

“I’m just being honest.”

“There you are!” Luca said, running up next to Isabelle. “Sorry for being late. I got stuck in the classroom.”

Isabelle smiled at Luca, “No worries. You ready to head inside?”

“You bet.” Luca smiled back, putting an arm around her shoulder before looking at Alex. “You must be Alex.”

Isabelle could feel her hands start to sweat when he gave Luca a grin, “Yeah, I’m Alex.”

“Well, Alex, it’s nice to kinda meet you.”

“You too…”

“Luca Facinelli.”

“Luca” Alex nodded, glancing at Isabelle.

“I’ll talk to you later, alright?” Isabelle gave Alex a nudge then a slight smile.

“Sure, sure.” Alex chuckled, “Don’t forget about me, Bells.”

“Never.” Isabelle said, giving him a quick wave before she walked into the cafeteria with Luca.

The cafeteria was even more crowded when they walked inside. Students waiting in line for food while others hoard at tables pushed together to make larger spaces for friends to sit. Luca led her through the room quickly; pushing by some people until she stopped at a long green table, where a few others were already sitting. Isabelle noticed Kyle right away and smiled at him when she sat down.

“Hey!” Kyle said, glancing at Luna. “Small world.”

“Small school,” Isabelle said, chuckling.

“You two know each other?” Luca asked, pulling out a lunch bag from her backpack.

“We have Physical Science together.”

“Oh,” Luca said, pursing her lips. “Well, glad we all know each other then.”

Isabelle was glad. She was more than glad, actually. She had planned on spending lunch in the library with headphones in and a book in her face, but this was better. Much, much, better.

Kyle and Luca asked all about her life. She told them about her parents’ divorce - which they all frowned at. he told them about Madison’s middle school, where she lived, and Luca made her talk about how she knew Alex.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Kyle asked, dipping a carrot in his ranch.

Isabelle felt her cheeks heat up, “No.”

“She just moved here, dumbass” Luca snorted. “Why on Earth would she have a boyfriend already?”

“It was just a question.” Kyle raised his hands defensively then turned back to Isabelle, “Sorry if I made you feel-“

“You’re fine.” Isabelle waved him off. “Totally fine.”

Kyle let out a breath of relief, “Okay, good.”

“But I do have a question for you,” Isabelle said, pointing her carrot at him. “Drama club. Do you think I’ll like it?”

“Yeah, most likely.” Kyle smiled. “Everyone in that group are cool, nice, genuine people. They want to be there, and it shows.”

Isabelle nodded, “Awesome.”

“You want to be in drama club?” Luca asked, raising her eyebrows.

“Yeah, why not? I need more friends so it’s a great opportunity to get those.”

“She has a point,” Kyle agreed.

Luca chuckled, “You do you.”

Isabelle thought lunch went by too fast. One second, she was laughing so hard her stomach hurt and the next she was walking to her next class. She had seen Nicolas walking with Natalie and gave them both a quick thumbs up. Madeline was still nowhere to be found, but Isabelle knew she was probably already well adjusted.

That was something they didn’t have in common. Unlike Isabelle, the divorce of their parents didn’t hit Madeline as hard. Maybe it was because Madeline was older and understood what and why it was happening. Isabelle was always left out in scenarios like this. Her parents not filling her in when it came to the family drama. A little part of her was grateful for that disadvantage. It kept her mind clear of the chaos, the guilt, and sometimes the secrets she wasn’t so sure she could keep.

When school ended, Isabelle rushed to the auditorium; skipping her locker for later. She made sure to send Madeline a quick text saying where she was going to be, and she responded with a dancing gif.

The Waunakee auditorium was bigger than Madison East’s. Clove had been here a few times before for small plays and school sign ups. The stage was long and large; Kyle standing in the center instructing kids around when she walked inside. She set her backpack down on one of the seats and approached slowly, glancing around.

“Isabelle!” Kyle shouted, stretching his hands out. “You came!”

“Of course.” Isabelle smiled. “I told you I would.”

“I suppose you did, but sometimes people change their mind last minute.” Kyle gave her a goofy grin and motioned her up onto the stage, “Come on up. I can give you a tour of backstage and you can meet Ms. Williams, the woman in charge of all of us.”

Isabelle obliged, climbing up onto the stage. When she looked out at the rows of seats, she felt like she could command an army of people, “This place is so big.”

Kyle walked up next to her and chuckled, “Just wait until its full of people.”

Isabelle gave him a nervous smile, “I think I could wait a bit until then.”

“You aren’t scared, are you?” Kyle asked, smirking.

“Of crowds? Not really. Of messing up lines and making a fool of myself? Absolutely.”

Kyle laughed, “We have a few weeks of practice until the play – which you have to audition for – so don’t worry about it.”

“What’s the play this year?”

“This fall is going to be The Little Mermaid. And we aren’t totally sure on what the winter play is going to be yet.”

Isabelle smiled, “That sounds like fun. When are auditions?”

“Fall play will start next Monday and then I don’t know about the winter ones. Sometime after winter break, I know that for sure.”

“Perfect.”

“Normally, how it works here is you tell us what role you want to audition for and we give you a small snippet, which you’ll probably get today, that you memorize and next Monday you will perform that snippet for Ms. Williams and others.” Kyle shrugged, crossing his arms across his chest, “Then by Friday the cast should be announced, and you get the full script and we start practicing.”

“Sounds easy enough.” Isabelle nodded.

“Do you know who’d you want to audition for?”

“Of course. Ariel.”

“So confident for a first year.” Kyle smirked, “You’ll have some heavy competition. I know a few girls here are dead set on making it into the play for the same role.”

“Well,” Isabelle looked around the theater then back at Kyle slowly, “may the odds be ever in my favor.”

***

There weren’t any other cars in the driveway when Isabelle got back home from Drama. One of the seniors, Amanda, ended up giving Isabelle and Kyle a ride home. Isabelle promised to pay her back in gas money, but Amanda waved her off with a smile, “You’re too nice. See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you. Thanks again.” Isabelle closed the back door and looked at her house. There was slight commotion to her left, then a pair of arms wrapped around her waist. When she looked down, Sophia was beaming up at her.

“Hey, Belly.” Sophia said.

Isabelle waved goodbye to Amanda as she drove off then turned back to Sophia, “Hey, Soph. How was school?”

Sophia sighed, “It was alright.”

“Long day?”

“Yeah.” Sophia pouted, “Do you want to come over and work on some homework. Or maybe we could watch a movie?”

Isabelle smiled, “Let’s watch a movie. How does The Little Mermaid sound?”

“Sounds perfect.”

Having the Ludwig’s as neighbors was easily the best thing in the world. The luck they had on getting a house directly next-door was even better than better. Isabelle’s mom worked long hours now that her dad didn’t live with them, so that meant Isabelle was home alone most of the time if Madeline was out doing something – which was the case right now. They had only lived in their new house for a week, but it only felt like two days.

Sophia led Isabelle through her house, holding Isabelle’s hand as they went. Isabelle set her backpack down on the carpeted living-room floor and twisted her hair up into a ponytail as Sophia set up the TV. Once the movie came up on the screen, Isabelle made a home for herself on the floor while Sophia laid on the couch. The two didn’t speak much until the front door swung open an hour into the movie and Alex tripped his way inside, a giggle following behind him.

Isabelle sat up slowly and rubbed her eyes as she looked at the couple walking into the house. Sophia shot up and smiled at her brother, “Hey, Alexander.”

“Hey, monkey.” Alex smiled, ruffling her hair. He directed his attention to Isabelle, “Hey, Bells.”

“Hey.”

“You girls are watching a movie I see.” Alex motioned to the TV and looked back at his sister.

“Yeah, Isabelle picked it.”

“Well, Nicole and I are gonna head up to my room. Only get me if there’s an emergency, alright kiddo?” Alex glanced at Isabelle, but she wasn’t looking at him. “Or just have Is help you.”

Nicole was already heading up the stairs before Sophia could give Alex an answer, “Okay.”

Alex dropped his bag by the front door and quickly followed Nicole, wrapping an arm around her waist as they went.

Isabelle could feel her ears burning as she watched them disappear up the stairs. No matter how many times she told herself she was used to the idea of them together, the idea that Alex was in love and she was too young for him or too much of a friend would poison her mood. It felt like an anchor on her chest and she was tired of being stuck in the middle of the ocean searching for land. Searching for a sign that maybe, just maybe, Alex felt the same way she did.

But as she heard Nicole’s laughter fade behind the sound of his door closing upstairs, the anchor only went into deeper water.


	7. 2013: part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'd never ask you cause deep down  
> I'm certain I know what you'd say  
> You'd say I'm sorry believe me  
> I love you but not in that way"  
> Not In That Way / Sam Smith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was written at 2:30 in the morning after i had two cups of hazelnut coffee so if it’s a mess, i deeply apologize. And yes, i am very much aware that it is short, but honestly… the parts of this story are supposed to be short.
> 
> anyways, this is only being updated for three reasons: amanda, taylor swift, and alexbelle’s headassary on instagram. 
> 
> It seems like all the women in my life are doing incredible things and i feel??? Like i am not so i decided to make myself feel better by updating SOMETHING to give me some sort of satisfaction. 
> 
> Okay im done rambling. Enjoy the story.
> 
> if you have any questions, hit me up on instagram @clovesorder or if you just wanna be friends. for a (NEW AND IMPROVED) playlist.. take this link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3PZYCW1coC9rGHyvSp6QLg?si=iQoRW-SrT4qScUh7XHxxJQ
> 
> xoxo  
> graceful

She didn’t mean to get drunk.

Tripping over her own two feet as she stumbled towards the bathroom in AnnaSophia’s home. It started out slow, sipping the first glass of wine with elegance and grace. But the cup would get refilled before it was completely empty, and Isabelle wasn’t the kind of girl to let things go to waste. Even if it meant she was getting wasted in the process. 

Kyle had warned her that cast parties can get a bit out of hand, but she didn’t think it would end up with her hunched over a toilet bowl, emptying whatever red wine was provided from her stomach.

Isabelle groaned, reaching into her back pocket to check the time – 12:30 in the morning exactly. Her mother had dropped her off almost five hours ago and she was most certainly not going to be the one picking her up.

There was a soft knock on the door, Luca’s voice quiet on the other end, “You doing okay, Isabelle?” 

“I’m ok.” Isabelle sighed, sitting up. Her mouth tasted like bile and wine. She stood up slowly, careful not to twist her stomach some more.

“Did you throw up?” Luca asked, hand twisting the locked doorknob.

“Just a little,” Isabelle glanced at the door, “but I’m fine.” 

“Are you going to stay the night?” 

Isabelle rinsed her mouth out with water quickly, turning off the faucet and drying off her mouth with the hand towel, “I think I’m going to call Alex and have him pick me up. I feel like garbage.” 

Luca was quiet on the other end of the door for a moment, “Okay. Just let me know if you need anything.” 

“I will, thank you Luca.” 

Isabelle waited until she was certain Luca had walked away before calling Alex, sitting on the now closed toilet lid. She rested an elbow on her knee and planted her head on her hand. The phone rang four times before a crackle rattled through the line, “Alex?” 

“Bells.” Alex yawned into the phone, “Shit, you’re calling late.” 

“Did I wake you up?” Isabelle sighed and rubbed her face, “I can call Madeline.”

“I wasn’t asleep,” Alex chuckled, “I promise. I was just lying in bed watching The Office, what’s up? How’s the cast party?”

Isabelle looked around the nicely decorated bathroom, “It’s okay.” 

“Just… okay?” 

“I drank too much wine and threw up in the bathroom.” Alex stayed quiet on the line for a moment before a small sound escaped his lips. Isabelle pulled her eyebrows together, “Are you laughing at me, Ludwig?” 

“You got wine drunk. Of _course,_ I’m laughing at you, Bells.” Alex chuckled, “Do you need me to come get you?”

Isabelle rubbed the back of her neck, “Maybe.” 

“I will be there in about ten minutes. Try not drinking any more wine, and instead drink some water with no ice and no straw.”

“Gee, thanks Dad.” Isabelle snorted. "See you soon."

“Indeed."

The line went dead and Isabelle glanced at the bathroom door, dreading the walk to the front door. Carefully, she stood up and exited the room. Music blasted through the house – which was _huge_ to say the least. Two stories and a basement that included its very own home theater. When Kyle said that AnnaSophia was rich, she assumed it to be true because it was her parents always donating the most money for their events, but looking around the home now, it was more than just an assumption; It was pure facts. 

“Are you leaving?” Luca asked, walking up behind Isabelle. 

Isabelle turned to face her friend slowly and nodded, a small frown on her lips. “Yeah, Alex is coming to get me.” 

“Darn,” Luca frowned, “I guess I’ll just bunk with Kyle.” 

“Oh gosh,” Isabelle chuckled, “have fun.” 

“I will do my best.” Luca smiled for a moment, “Say hi to Alex for me.” 

Isabelle nodded then accepted the hug Luca went for. She smelled like her vanilla perfume and cinnamon, “I’ll see you on Monday.”

“See ya Monday, Is.”

It took a few minutes for Isabelle to collect her things. On top of the music blasting, bodies rushing around the room yelling lyrics, and the Christmas lights Anna had put up to use as decoration, twinkling around the room, Isabelle’s head was ready to explode. She moved around the house slowly, counting her steps as she did.

When AnnaSophia approached her, Isabelle hardly even heard her say Alex had arrived because she was still busy counting in her head. 

“Did you hear me?” Anna asked, waving a hand in front of her face slowly.

“What? I’m sorry.” Isabelle scrunched her nose up slightly, “I was thinking.” 

“Clearly.” Anna chuckled, “I said Alexander is here.” 

“Oh, thanks.” 

“Yeah, tell him I said hi.” 

Isabelle’s head bobbed slightly before she headed towards the front door. She almost tripped when she saw Alex, and not because she was shit piled, but because he looked _good._  His joggers were tight, and his sweatshirt was a little too baggy, but he pulled it off as fashion. Blonde hair tousled in perfect bed head; eyes filled with sleep. His mouth curled into a smile when he caught her eye and Isabelle felt her stomach flutter. 

Maybe she should have called Madeline. 

“Hi.” Was all she could say, and she was mentally punching herself in the face. Her voice sounded like a schoolgirl.

“Hey,” Alex nudged her arm lightly. “Ready to head out?” 

Isabelle nodded, “Yeah.” 

Alex motioned his head towards the door, “Let’s go."

Isabelle didn’t waste time walking up next to Alex, feeling his arm slip around her waist to pull her closer when they got outside. The warmth of Anna’s house turned into a brisk January chill and Isabelle thanked her mom for reminding her to grab a jacket, despite how warm Alex was.

“So, wine drunk?” 

Isabelle could hear the smirk in his voice, “I don’t wanna talk about it.” 

“I think we should talk about it.” Alex laughed, opening the passenger door open for her. “Is this your first party?”

“Maybe.” Isabelle shot him a playful look before getting into his car, which was warm and smelled like a mixture of Alex’s cologne and laundry detergent. A smell Isabelle wanted to engulf herself into forever.

“Word of advice,” Alex said as he slipped into the drivers side, “next time… put yourself on a limit. As much as I _love_ coming to pick you up at midnight-“ 

“I’m sorry.” Isabelle blurted, frowning at him. “I should have called Madeline. I knew you were sleeping.” Isabelle put her hands on her face quickly, “God, I am an idiot.”

“Woah, woah.” Alex pulled her hands off her face slowly, “That is _not_ what I was going to say at all, Fuhrman.” 

Isabelle looked at him slowly, “But you-“ 

“I would rather be picking you up in the morning after you had a fun night with friends, maybe with a hangover?” Alex ruffled her hair, smirking. “I’d pick you up at any time of the day, Bells. I just feel bad that you’re-“ 

“Obliterated?”

Alex laughed, “Yeah, sure. We’ll use that word.”

“I feel bad too. You’re the one that has to deal with it.” Isabelle smirked, leaning her head back against the car seat.

“Well, you make a good point. Considering you’re hammered, how about we get some ice cream, and have you calm down a bit before we head home, yeah?” 

Isabelle’s smirk faded into a smile and she nodded. 

“Good. The last thing I want is for your mom to murder you for drinking.” Alex started backing out of the driveway, “How does a McFlurry sound?” 

"Shit.” Isabelle closed her eyes, “That sounds _so_ good.” 

“McDonalds it is.” 

Isabelle watched the streetlights go by as Alex drove. She snuck a glance over at him occasionally, watching his lips as he mouthed the words to the quiet hum of the radio. The lights outside glowing on his face every now and then made him look like a perfectly sculpted human. 

 _God, I am drunk_. Isabelle sighed, looking back out the window.

The McDonalds sign came into view a few minutes later and Alex pulled up to the empty drive-thru line ordering for them both without even asking what she wanted. He just knew. He always knows. 

“Thank you.” Isabelle’s voice was soft as he started pulling up to the window. 

Alex looked at her and smiled, “Course. You gonna stay awake to finish it?” 

“Absolutely.” Isabelle said, then yawned not even a second after the word left her mouth.

Alex chuckled, “We’ll see.” 

They ate their ice cream in silence, parked in a stall in the lot. The radio humming in the background while the heat blasted. It was a sense of safety Isabelle longed for whenever she was away from it. The comfortable silence. The presence of Alex. The smell of his clothes. The sound of his voice whenever he did speak – the sound Isabelle could fall asleep to.

Alex finished his ice cream first because Isabelle always hated how cold she would get eating it, “McFlurries always hit different at one in the morning.” 

“True. Or when you’re drunk.” Isabelle snorted. 

“How are you feeling?” 

Isabelle shrugged and looked at him, “Better. I think it helps to not have music blasting and people yelling at each other.” 

“I bet.” Alex smiled a little for a moment then looked forwards. “I uh, I forgot to tell you this the other day...”  

“Hm?” 

Alex glanced at her and Isabelle could sense a shift of tension in the car. For a second, she thought he was going to say he loved her but instead, he said the second-best thing, “Nicole and I broke up.”

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” Alex glanced at her. There was a few seconds of silence before he spoke again, “I know you didn’t like her-“ 

“I liked her.” 

“No, you didn’t.” Alex gave her a half-assed chuckle and turned to face her.

Isabelle frowned, “Okay, that’s not the point here.” She set her McFlurry in the cup holder and curled up in the seat, “Are you okay?” 

Alex nodded, looking over her face, “Yeah. I’m okay.”

"Do… you mind telling me why… you broke up?” 

He looked away from her, “I guess we both just… had an interest in other people.”

Isabelle felt her heartbeat quicken, “Oh?” 

Alex rubbed his hands against his joggers and glanced at Isabelle, “I know… you’re a little buzzed right now, and I probably should have waited to tell you this, but…” Isabelle’s entire body buzzed. Her eyes glued to Alex’s face as he looked at her again, “I kinda… have a thing with AnnaSophia.”

 _Oh._  

Isabelle stayed quiet.

“I know you and her are friends, which is why I wanted to wait, but-“ 

“It’s fine.” Isabelle spit out almost too quickly. “I mean, it’s fine that you told me. I’m actually glad you did.”

“Really?” 

“Of course,” Isabelle gave him her best fake smile for a second. “I’m glad you… were honest with me.” 

“I just didn’t know how you’d feel about Anna. I mean I know you two are close and all, so I was worried…” 

“Whatever makes you happy, Alex, is always going to make me happy. I promise.” 

Alex gave her a half grin, “Pinky promise?”

Isabelle held up her pinky and Alex twisted it with his own.

“I love you.” Isabelle said softly, “You know that, right?”

Maybe it was the wine, or maybe it was the sugar from the ice cream, but Isabelle noticed the flash that crossed Alex’s face when he met her eyes. She didn’t know if it was guilt, pain, annoyance, or all three. Either way, when he only gave her a small nod, she wished she hadn’t said it at all. 

Suddenly, the smell of his cologne was burning her nose, the soft hum of the radio was screaming in her ears, Alex’s looming presence made her feel small, the silence felt forced, and Alex’s voice when he said goodnight to her as she walked towards her front door, didn’t make her want to fall asleep, it made her want to put headphones in so she could ignore it forever. The only thing Isabelle longed for was safety in the comfort of her own bed and she wondered if Alexander knew. Did he know she loved him? 

Of course, he knew. 

He _always_ knows.

That was the only pinky promise she could ever keep.


End file.
